Friday, May 31, 2013

The Licker License

What started as a joke purchase, has turned into a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

Let me explain. I'm a dog lover to the nth degree. Meaning not only do I love them, but stuff about them, for them and everything in between. So here's what happened. I think it was about a year or so after my Simon came into my house, I was away with a friend and her family. We happen to be staying in Michigan's very own German town, so of course any pet store in this town is almost legally bound to sell any and all Dachshund memorabilia. Which for a person like me, is my new happy place, and stealer of all my money. Thank god I don't they have a website, it would not end well for me.

Upon entering this store, my eyes were immediately drawn to a rack of all dog breed "Licker Licenses" Well.I.Had.To.Have.One. So I spun the rack around, and wouldn't you know, they had a Dachshund one. Six bucks for the sign and probably about thirty bucks in other items of eye catching must haveness, I went home. I showed my mother ( who was babysitting Simon) the sign, had a few jokes over how cute it was, and hung it on the wall in my bedroom.

I didn't know Simon could read, or that maybe I should have looked for one with a expiration date on with the licking license stopped.

Simon loves to lick...anything. He LOVES skin, summer time is his favorite. So much exposed skin, not enough tongue. However, when skin is sparse, the couch, bed sheets, air will do. As long as we can lick.

This condition is so bad, he now kicks in his sleep. This tongue WILL NOT stay in his mouth. It just doesn't know how. I think Simon trys, I mean a licking addiction must be one of the worst to have. Hello feet, and in between toes. But he just can't help himself.

I admit some days it feels nice, I now have a few spots on my legs I will never ave to shave again. Other days the wet,slimy, dog breath gets to be too much.

So, I ask you. is this a wiener trait and there's no cure or just a dog thing?


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