Sunday, January 25, 2015

Dear Simon

I wrote what I'm about to share about 2 years ago, when Simon was still very much still here. In fact if memory serves, I think he was snoring on my chest at the time, and making it hard to write. It was written in a moment of sadness in thinking of the future, of the moment I'm in right now. Sadly I  didn't date it, it doesn't matter, the feeling is the same. So here goes...
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Dear Simon,

I want you to live out your days knowing, and feeling that you are loved. For you to be happy in the time you got to spend with me. That your life was full, and everything you wanted it to be. And that nothing has been left behind.

Know that when its your time to go, even though I will be sad, that I will be able to let you go.Your heart will always be stay close to mine. For you will never truly leave me. And know you will be taking my heart with you for safe keeping, only to be given back on the day we meet again.

I don't want to let you go, but I will. I hate to say good-bye, but I have too. Know I loved you, and love you still. You ARE my world. You have filled my life with love and joy. And every day I had with you was blessed.

I thank you for being mine. I thank you for letting me love you, and keep you safe. Thank you for everything.

Mom

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Now What?

I'm posting this in the same format and wording as I posted on a site called the Tanner Brigade, it's a dog site I am a part of.

I shared this on my blog site for Simon, but I wanted to share this here too. I apologize for any spelling and other errors. I wasn't seeing the best as I typed this up. lol

So I have been sitting at this blank blog page for about an hour now, not sure what I want to say, or how to say it. It seems fitting though, I feel pretty blank inside right now. Most everyone on here and Facebook is upset about losing their homes and memories at Doggyspace. Believe me, it's crushing to me as well.

The friends I had made there were always so nice, and supportive of me and Simon. And so far I think I have re- found most of those DS friends. I hope to stay in contact with you guys, and to make new friendships with those I didn't get to meet on DS.

I'm going to need you guys, and all the support I can get right now. I'll be honest with you, I'm a bit of a mess right now.

As some of you have seen from whatever post I have done, be it on DS, FB, here, or my own blog site. I lost my heart, and baby Simon not that long ago. He was sixteen and almost five months. It was a good life, a long life. And I'm proud of the fact I can say it was me who helped him live as long as he did. He was nine when I got him, and headed for his death sentence then.

You see the family that had him before me, had got a new puppy, and the two didn't get along. So who had to go, but Simon. Thankfully a site called DRNA got word and he was sent to foster. There's a longer story on this, and I can share it all later. Point of the story he went into foster, and then came to me. He wasn't even in foster very long.

It was love at first site for both of us. And for all the ways in which I saved him, he in return saved me. We connected hard and fast. I was his and he was mine. He slept in the big bed with me, went most every place I did. And when he couldn't go, was left in good hands with his grandpawent ( I know that's spelled wrong). For the seven years he was in my life, my life revolved around him. And now... I'm lost.

I'm beyond lost, and to be honest, I'm not really sure what I am. My worlds changed and empty. I'm not really sure who I am anymore. I was always Simon's mommy. I will always be Simon's mommy, I know, but the wording and feel has changed.

I posted to the Doggyspace group on Facebook I belonged to Simon, and had an emotional breakdown of sorts after hitting send. I belonged to someone, that I don't belong to anymore. It's a feeling I haven't yet dealt with. I know in time it gets better, and being that it's still so fresh, it will hurt for a while. But what do you do when you lose your whole world and best friend?

Well so much for keeping this post short, I know you guys will understand. And thank you.

Simon's Mommy, Emily

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

A Sad Update

I'm not really sure how to write this blog post, it's not one i ever wanted to have to write, but knew I would have too...one day.

Well one day finally came.

My baby, the keeper of my heart, took his walk across rainbow bridge a few weeks ago. Around the middle of December he had somehow injured his back, I know anyone who has dogs or knows anything about them, knows back issues almost always mean bad news. And it only gets worse the older they are. My Simon was 16 and four months old. An age I am so comforted to know he got to fully enjoy.

We rushed him into the vets and had him looked over, knowing there wasn't much that could really be done, we were given meds and sent home. He was fully loved and taken care of, getting his meds right on time every twelve hours, and hardly ever leaving the comfort of someones arms, only truly put down to potty or get a drink. After eight days of meds, bed rest, and love, there was no change. We took him back into the vets, and our fears were confirmed, the meds hadn't done much, and it was time.

On December 26th, 2014, Simon went to the rainbow bridge.

He was loved every second he was in my life, some may even say spoiled. He will continue to be loved, and always hold a very,very special place in my heart.

Simon was truly one of a kind, and will be greatly missed.

I'm going to keep this blog open, it's still his place. I'm going to use it now to share my memories as I remember them, videos and pictures. The blog site is for him and him alone.

Thank you Simon for all the you were and all the you gave to me.

I love you, mommy