Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Now What?

I'm posting this in the same format and wording as I posted on a site called the Tanner Brigade, it's a dog site I am a part of.

I shared this on my blog site for Simon, but I wanted to share this here too. I apologize for any spelling and other errors. I wasn't seeing the best as I typed this up. lol

So I have been sitting at this blank blog page for about an hour now, not sure what I want to say, or how to say it. It seems fitting though, I feel pretty blank inside right now. Most everyone on here and Facebook is upset about losing their homes and memories at Doggyspace. Believe me, it's crushing to me as well.

The friends I had made there were always so nice, and supportive of me and Simon. And so far I think I have re- found most of those DS friends. I hope to stay in contact with you guys, and to make new friendships with those I didn't get to meet on DS.

I'm going to need you guys, and all the support I can get right now. I'll be honest with you, I'm a bit of a mess right now.

As some of you have seen from whatever post I have done, be it on DS, FB, here, or my own blog site. I lost my heart, and baby Simon not that long ago. He was sixteen and almost five months. It was a good life, a long life. And I'm proud of the fact I can say it was me who helped him live as long as he did. He was nine when I got him, and headed for his death sentence then.

You see the family that had him before me, had got a new puppy, and the two didn't get along. So who had to go, but Simon. Thankfully a site called DRNA got word and he was sent to foster. There's a longer story on this, and I can share it all later. Point of the story he went into foster, and then came to me. He wasn't even in foster very long.

It was love at first site for both of us. And for all the ways in which I saved him, he in return saved me. We connected hard and fast. I was his and he was mine. He slept in the big bed with me, went most every place I did. And when he couldn't go, was left in good hands with his grandpawent ( I know that's spelled wrong). For the seven years he was in my life, my life revolved around him. And now... I'm lost.

I'm beyond lost, and to be honest, I'm not really sure what I am. My worlds changed and empty. I'm not really sure who I am anymore. I was always Simon's mommy. I will always be Simon's mommy, I know, but the wording and feel has changed.

I posted to the Doggyspace group on Facebook I belonged to Simon, and had an emotional breakdown of sorts after hitting send. I belonged to someone, that I don't belong to anymore. It's a feeling I haven't yet dealt with. I know in time it gets better, and being that it's still so fresh, it will hurt for a while. But what do you do when you lose your whole world and best friend?

Well so much for keeping this post short, I know you guys will understand. And thank you.

Simon's Mommy, Emily

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