Tuesday, December 29, 2015

For My Angel Simon

I had tried to write this blog on the 26th. But every time I sat down to type, my words wouldn't come. I'm still not sure I know what to say, but I'm going to try because I need to.
So here I go, trying my best to find my words.

Dear Simon,

According to the calendar on the wall it's December 26th, it's been a year since you've been gone. A year I had to learn to live without you. It doesn't feel like a year, it doesn't even seem like it's been a day yet. But then again some days it feels like it's been longer then a year. How time can pass so slow, and so fast all at once, I'm still not sure.

I know one thing for sure though, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I see reminders of you everywhere, in everything. On those days I still find it hard to breathe. You were such a big part of my life, you were my life. I miss you. I carried on our traditions, I fell asleep on Christmas eve watching twenty four hours of a Christmas Story.  We would watch it together way into the morning every year. You always fell asleep way before I did, curled up under the covers on my lap, snoring softly.

You were the little dog that saved me, that came into my life when I needed you most. It's been a hard year, and I'm just now starting to find my way again. I have met some amazing people to help me get through it. I strongly believe you had a hand in my finding the Tanner Brigade. Thank you. You are still saving me when I need it. But even still what I need the most is you. That will never change, and I never want it too.

I've been looking around on rescue sites, looking for a furry face that needs me. I know you are looking too, and trying to send me just the perfect one. It's not easy, no one can ever be you. I'm hoping the next year will be a little bit easier, the same with the year after that. I want you to know I'm trying my best, I'm trying for you. Because you would want me to.

I hope you are having fun, and not getting into too much trouble at the bridge. And I hope you had a wonderful Christmas too.

I miss you, and I love you so very very much.
Love Forever, Your Mommy